Not The Actual Events

still can make out pieces with the opening sewed shut
yeah, parts of me are slowing down and time is speeding up
spiders crawling everywhere, infected japanese
you can tell all your friends you're just a tourist
but you can't understand what they've planned until you try to leave

feels like i've been here before
yeah, i don't know anymore
and i don't care anymore
feels like i've been here before

cold and black and infinite with nothing left to lose
if you try to keep the flies away, the makeup hides the bruise
her branches are the bones that break, become a perfect line
and no, he won't be just a man who's sometimes

he won't be just a man who's sometimes

feels like i've been here before
yeah, i don't know anymore
and i don't care anyway
i think i recognize

yes, i have been here before
yeah, i don't care anymore
don't give a fuck anymore
yeah, i don't care

yes, everyone seems to be asleep

hey look, you didn't even notice
you couldn't even tell
just when it started happening
maybe just as well
after all, everything is getting unfamiliar now
trajectory in decline
and we become obsolete
a frame at a time

i'm locked inside here
i have to stay
with people who aren't here
all the way
pictures and faces
on display
of people who aren't here
all the way

and you didn't even notice
and you didn't even notice
that you're missing

dear world, i can hardly recognize you anymore
and yet i remain certain there is an answer in you
i feel like i have lived so long
sometimes run out of things to try to do
i can't concentrate
what about…
i begin to go through another that we have been
i have been entirely patient
no, no, not this time

i am leaving because i can't recognize who i have been
you go on spoiling
it's happening
without me you didn't even notice
of course it's been happening all along
permanent intervals
as you become obsolete
who are you?
oh, this place...
i can't concentrate
but i know i can't trust myself

i'm locked inside here
i have to stay
with people who aren't here
all the way
pictures and faces
on display
of people who aren't here
all the way

yes, everyone seems to be asleep

you dig in places till your fingers bleed
spread the infection where you spill your seed
i can't remember what she came here for
i can't remember much of anything anymore

she's gone
she's gone
she's gone away

a little mouth opened up inside
yeah, i was watching on the day she died
we keep licking while the skin turns black
cut along the length (but you can't get the feeling back)

she's gone
she's gone
she's gone away

are you still here?

maybe that was somebody else
maybe i was somebody else
i'm sorry, for what it's worth
if that means anything anymore
i think there's something just wrong
i have been wondering
when, when did you know?
you know, really know?
no, no, no, no, i don't think that's going to happen here
you missed all that on the way out
remember, i don't wanna remember anymore
maybe i was somebody else
just go back to the idea of me
just go back to the idea of me
just go back to the idea of me
just…

wait
wake
breathe
believe
hey, you tell yourself…

none of this is happening

oh and if i start to tell you anything, please don't pay attention
that's not really me in there
i would never do that
just go back to the idea of me
go back to that idea
can you even hear me over here?
everything absorbing, liquid twitching, forming something terrible
the sores are gone
and you can hardly tell now but
that was someone else who isn't here anymore

wait
wake
breathe
believe
hey, you tell yourself…

none of this is happening

wait
wake
breathe
believe
hey, you tell yourself…

hey
can you hear?
it gets
so lonely in here

i'm going back
of course i am
as if i ever had a choice
back to what i always knew i was
on the inside
back to what i really am
look at this pathetic place i made
with little bits of sticks and hair
and anything i found along the way
and tell yourself, you know?
you're not really what you know you are
you know?
of course you do
i think i may have even listened to you
i think i may have even listened to you
at the height of my demise

breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe…
break through the surface and breathe

i am forgiven
i am free
i am a field on fire

and oh my god, i have missed you
it has been so long
and i am stronger than i have ever been in my decline
i am stronger than i have ever been in my decline
for now i know, now i know, now i know for certain
now i know for certain
oh, burn motherfucker
carry the carcass and throw it on
pull up a chair and watch
the flies come roaring out
and will surround the entire world
and blacken out the sky and every last one of you
like a plague of locusts
like an exit
like an end
like an end
like an end
like the end

breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe…
break through the surface and breathe

i am forgiven
i am free
i am a field on fire

i can't tell if i am dreaming anymore